This condition causes unhappiness and stress. It changes peoples lives. However, once you realise that YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE, you can see that there is a funny side. Having a laugh with fellow sufferers is a great way to deal with Avoidant Paruresis. This page will reflect our sense of humour.

21 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM!

1. EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3. CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
4. TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
5. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.
7. WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
8. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.
9. ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10. CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
11. SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.
12. PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.
13. DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.
14. TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.
15. EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap, then does both.
16. FAT: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoe.
17. LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
18. DRUNK: Holds right thumb in left hand, pisses in pants.
19. DISGRUNTLED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
20. CONCEITED: Holds two-inch dick like a baseball bat.
21. RADICAL: Ignores urinal. Pisses on wall.

First Annual Choose-A-Urinal(tm)Challenge!

Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty. There *is* a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed. The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use."

(Sample):

|   |   | x |   |   | x |  (Indicates that urinals 

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |   3 and 6 are occupied.)

 -------------------------

You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at

which stall you are to correctly stand.  Good luck!

 -------------------------

       Easy Section

 -------------------------

1.)

|   | x |   | x |   |   |   (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

 -------------------------

Your choice: ___

 ----------------------------------------------

Correct answer:  6

It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy

instinctively knows this.

===============================================

2.)

| x |   |   |   |   |   |  (Urinal 1 occupied.)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

 -------------------------

Your choice:  ___

 ----------------------------------------------

Correct answer:  6

Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater

risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

===============================================

 -------------------------

  Kind-of-Tricky Section:

 -------------------------

3.)

|   |   |   |   |   |   |   (empty)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

 -------------------------

Your choice:  __

 ----------------------------------------------

Correct answer:

1 or 6

You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next

to me."

===============================================

4.)

|   | x |   | x |   | x |  (2, 4 and 6 occupied)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

 -------------------------

Your choice:  ___

 ----------------------------------------------

Correct answer:  1

You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so

you minimize the impact and get a wall on your

left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help

it.  Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms

where the herd thunders in.

===============================================

 ----------------------------------------------

Subtle, Tricky, But Important-to-Know Section

 ----------------------------------------------

5.)

|   | x |   |   | x | x |  (2, 5 and 6 occupied)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

 -------------------------

Your choice:  __

 ----------------------------------------------

Correct answer:  4

Believe it or not,  1 and 3 "couples you with the

guy in stall 2.  And we wouldn't want THAT now,

would we?  This differs from question 4 in such a

subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained.

Suffice to say, only we men would understand!

===============================================

 -------------------------

 VERY-Tricky-Indeed Section

 -------------------------

6.)

| x | x |   |   | x | x |   (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

 -------------------------

Your choice:  ___

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Correct answer:

NONE!  You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your

hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up"

a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD --

for God's sake, use a doored stall!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.
-- NO Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again."